Anony McNoName's LiveJournal


Thursday, March 1st, 2007

12:29a:
friends only as of now. want to read something? be my friend.
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Tuesday, February 20th, 2007

4:17p:
The Woods

I’m an amnesiac, confused and gone
The path I tread is unfamiliar
the path I walk goes deeper in the woods
and twists so that it never leaves

The leaves twist in front of me, forming sharp shards
stretching from limbs, shrouding my view
I try to navigate but they surround me
I am cut by the thorns as I try to climb through

I taste the stench, I’m knocked to the ground
I slip through the mud, the trees surround
The path is a river, carries me through
The current takes me far from the view

I am taken deeper.
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Tuesday, February 13th, 2007

11:14p:
man, awesome. I really am turning things around.

although FUCK valentines day Livejournal layout. But anyway...

Today I totally scheduled the Healthy Life classes, i got an A on my earthquakes midterm (go figure) and I went to the Ethical Decision Making course. Funny shit, there were so many kids there.

The only thing I didn't do was job applications, but I know where to go for that now so it will happen very very soon.

The icing on the cake is that I just looked online and found that MUSIC HISTORY is in fact part of the humanities department in the College of Letters and Science. I e-mailed the advisor of the department, found my list of unofficial piano teachers and I think that might end up being my major. Man. Lets hope that all turns out okay.

Tomorrow should be a fun day, although I'm gonna need to figure out where the FUCK I can get food before going to the Getty otherwise I might die of starvation.

Plus I'm working on tons and tons and tons of music. Sweetness.
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Monday, February 12th, 2007

7:11p:
AUTOMATIC MADNESS

DAWNS UPON YOU
one morning you wake up to find the madness has taken your mind and you decide to leave
you hop out of your bed and to the computer and immediately smash it upon your head, shattering your brain into a thousand tiny pieces that you couldn’t put back togheter no matter how hard you try
and yet you are free, in the free mind overdrive where the madness really really takes you

you are taken now, and as you see the purple glass discs floating in space with heads underneath it and orange lights surrounding your eyes you realize that for some reason this all makes perfect sense.

even when you see the gray UFO floating in the sky, and you swear to god it must be an alien craft


your in free mind overdrive now

the madness has you

so what the hell? why not surrender to it?
let it take you - just this once

let it take you into the other world where the rules have all been executed

hanged and beheaded (at the same time)

in this place you are free to scream
in this place you are free to fly
in this place you are free to run faster that the speed of sound
but not the speed of light, we wouldn’t want you vaporizing
we just want you to be free

in this place you can destroy the air
in this place you can blacken the lights
in this place time speeeeeeeds up as you explode into beams of energy
the radiation takes you away into all the corners of the world
and you fly into the hemisphere with an uncertainty about where you might land but its okay becase we will take you, we will take care of you

inhale this
drink that
eat this
inject taht
sniff this
breathe this
inhale exhale inhale exhale
take a swig of my hookah and feel your brain vaporize

here in free mind overdrive

LET YOURSELF TAKE OFF
RUN INTO THE WOODS AND LET YOUR BODY HIT A TREE
its okay because youve gained enough speed to let your soul escape
and your mind and your soul leave the body behind and watch everything from the stars, billions and billions of light years away

your in overdrive now
overdrive overflow overkill overexplode
REXPLODEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
try it shall we?
kissssssssssssssssssssss

here your urges are completely gone
here your energy is completely free
pent up energy completely free
repressed energy completely free
your particles of light and soul fly into a thousand directions at once
you are everywhere, spread amongst the very essence of existence because nonexistence simply is not a possibility not even here in free mind overdrive

SCREAM YOUR LOVE OUT.
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Wednesday, February 7th, 2007

12:44a:
from a segment of strongbad's e-mail flash cartoons, we found a funny phrase that is ridiculous but might possibly be our band name:

"No Two People Are Not On Fire"

Sweet.

Also I came up with these other names that I must rememeber:

Free Mind Overdrive
Acid Noise
The Manic Maniac
Manic Speed Demon

these are mainly for me. But I think the band consisting of me, Ryan, Billy, Travis and a drummer (at some point) will probably be called No Two People Are Not On Fire.

hmm no2pplRnotonfire.....NTPANOF?
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Saturday, February 3rd, 2007

1:32p:
The name of our band is going to be OCEANSTONE. Because last night, we were ocean-stoned.

SUCH A GOOD NIGHT. goddamn. Went to bed at 4, woke up at 1, i feel like shit but its amazing because its saturday.

It seemed like nothing was going to happen last night but somehow we ended up
-jamming in the halls
-using the beer bong
-smoking two joints of Strawberry Cough
-eating ice cream and cookies and chips
-going back to westwood for a party where we played Guitar Hero
-smoking two amazing bowls of Grape, which sent us to the bottom of the ocean.

this is what I'm talking about.

time to record music.
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Sunday, January 28th, 2007

4:08p:
I'm degenerating, killing myself slowly.

Well no I'm exaggerating. But consider this: my friends have all gotten sick, and i didn't. Then I was feeling queasy after smoking hookah on thursday. I had a bad headache and was dizzy and thought i had a fever. But then I drank water, took advil, finished my Earthquakes lab and went to sleep. Friday I felt fine, but I could tell I was going to get a cold. Which is awesome compared to a flu.

Anyway, like an idiot I decide that Friday night I will smoke a ton of weed and hookah, even though I'm pretty sure the hookah from the previous night made me dehydrated AND fucked my immune system. But we smoked some Strawberry Cough, Grape (amazing) and my West Side OG Kush. It was a wonderful high. And then we smoked a lot of hookah and my throat kept getting more fucked. Plus I drank a shot.

Saturday morning I woke up feeling a little fucked up, but that was okay because that night was my cousins bat mitzvah. And I had a lot of fun at the bat mitzvah. Didn't drink, didn't smoke, ate a little too much but whatever it was fun and I was home by midnight.

And then i was an idiot, and watched Crash until 3 in the morning, and then my idiot roommate decided to do his laundry at 4 in the morning for reasons i'm not going to explain beacuse they are simply idiotic, and only a person who is so afraid of authority would do this.

Anyway, I didn't sleep until 5 in the morning. And I woke up this morning at 10 to go to brunch with my mom. Thats why I wrote that angry poem. Because I am fucking myself up and I don't want to, and I hate other people's lack of consideration.

I need to get healthy again. I need to get a job. I need to not smoke for a while. I need to not drink for a while. I need to go to bed earlier. I need to do my reading and my essay and my homework. I need to schedule my weed classes. I need to get my shit together.

So when we meet again, some things on that list should be checked off. I went to the gym recently. First time I've used my muscles in 3 years. My entire body was sore. I plan to go more often, and hopefully get rid of the soreness and the atraphy in my arms. Maybe get in shape a little bit. Maybe get away from some of this self destruction.

I just got a call from sebastian. If he and connor get their crazy asses up here, I think fun things will happen. Oh yes. Fun things will definitely happen. Until then, see you space cowboy.
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Monday, January 22nd, 2007

10:30p:
been going through old e-mails and deleting shit lately. Its good, its therapeutic. I like it.

Fuck, I wish I could get a job. I hate work study. Its such bullshit. Why post it online if no one can qualify for the job or if the job is already filled? Fuckers. Thats ALL i want.

Once I get a job, schedule my Marajuana classes (punishment for getting caught on campus), things will be SO GOOD.

Then I can think about women. And music. And piano teachers. Bleh.

Life is complicated, although lately i've been lethargic and lazy as fuck. Its not good, I feel like a slob. I haven't done any homework and I've been in class for two weeks now. Shit.

But otherwise life is okay. College is okay, I guess. my thoughts repeat themselves.....
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12:35a:
Starting afresh each year is a good thing, even though this past "new year" was really just another day to me. I mean, the biggest change of my life happened in September 2006, what makes the change from December to January so special? Fucking punkass.

anyway, this isn't a very good poem but i got my thoughts down and i'm happy with that. Lately I've been just trying to find some peace:

The Future

I’ve been trying to live from day to day
concerned with myself, not with what others say
I’ve been trying to enjoy everything that I can
And learn to grow from a boy to a man
And I sit and it doesn’t even matter where I am
everything looks the same, the patterns at hand
I could learn to be happy at any place
if I stayed long enough, and caught up with the pace
But when I think of the future I’m overwhelmed
The fear takes hold and I can’t even tell
if I’m doing my best or trying at all
I sorta gave up when I took the fall
Am I lazy? Am I thinking? I shouldn’t need to decide
what to do with my future this young, at this time
I’ve decided to just try to live day to day
concerned with the present, not what futures may
hold in store for me, I’ll learn when I’m there
it takes time, and its mine, the future I bear
And even though tomorrow is linked with today
Every day is different, and I’ll learn what I may.
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Friday, December 8th, 2006

11:39p:
I WAS BORN WITH MUSIC

fuck you world
what am i supposed to do with my life?
what the fuck am i supposed to do with my life?
compromise was not in the plan

i refuse to compromise
i refuse to let this happen
you will not get me down
i will not be forced to the ground
with all the liars and all the meek
that you stomped out cuz you knew they were weak
you will not crush me, or brush me away
I won’t leave, I’ll stay and I’ll stay
I’ll pester you like a mosquito bite
no matter what you do I won’t give up my fight
I will prevail and I will thrive
I will struggle, I will strive

FUCK YOU WORLD, why’d you do this to me?
I have an unusable talent as far as I can see
You fascist utilitarian anti-intellectual fools
You are teasing me, you are just being cruel

BUT I WAS BORN WITH MUSIC AND WITH MUSIC I’LL STAY
IT IS IN MY MIND AND IN MY SOUL, AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN SAY
AND I WILL LOVE FOR TOMORROW AND I WILL LIVE FOR TODAY
I WAS BORN WIth MUSIC AND WITH MUSIC I WILL STAY
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10:56p:
On the bright side, lots of Salvia and pot tonight made my mood much better.
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Sunday, December 3rd, 2006

10:59p:
I'm gonna make a really insane Reason song and these will be the lyrics to it. Imagine me screaming these lines:

CHAOS DRINK

its all piling up
its all crashing down
stressing speed, lacking sleep
striking leap, spying reap
THE BENEFITS OF MY CHAOS DRINK
THE TINY FITS OF MY CHAOS DRINK
WILL MAKE YOU IMMORTAL

watch it bubble
watch it pile
watch it brew in my pit of money
THE BUILDINGS CRUMBLE AND DIE AND SINK
YOU KEEP SIPPING MY CHAOS DRINK
THE TINY FITS OF LITTLE LINKS
WILL MAKE YOU IMMORTAL

feel the pressure
find your successor
why is the sky so black?
why is the air so thick?
why can’t I see?
why can’t I be?
why crumble?
Why bumble?
this ringing in my head
these shadows all around
the blurring lights
the dizzy nights
why is the sky so black?
why is the air so thick?
why collapse?
why brain synapse?
the signals died, the electricity tried
but I can survive the end

I HAVE BUILDINGS THAT WON’T SINK
MY MIND FLIES ABOVE MY BODY’S DEATH
THE CHAOS RINGS WIthiN MY HEAD
THE DEAD WILL RISE WHEN WE ARE THE DEAD
HA! HA! HA! HA!
LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH
BRING YOUR MAGICAL CHEMICAL
I WILL CRUMBLE AS I SINK
I WILL FLY HIGH WITH ELEPHANTS PINK
I WILL WRITE WITH WEATERED INK
I WILL SIP YOUR CHAOS DRINK
I WILL SIP YOUR CHAOS DRINK
I WILL DRINK THE CHAOS DRINK
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Tuesday, November 28th, 2006

7:57p:
I wrote this in san diego on my bed while I was high. I really like it, even though it makes absolutely no sense.

i am flying through my brain
my mmind left my body
and i can watch it move about
and sustain damage
and be trapped
trapped on this world

my mind left my bodyy
i’m driving me insane
when i loathe the you of yesterday’s time
the you of yesterdays yearnings
trying to think the time
trying to be me as you as we as see as you think me over
falling on the moon, i see you well
i see us moving but my mind is stationary
stationary cautionary precautionary mortuary very very smooth
smooth my mind
until it can’t tell whats realy happening anymore forevermore and never
more
more
more
more
more
more of mor of thor of score swam to the shore and evolved into a human
life my friends
live my friends
trust my friends
i trust your friends
see my friends
the trees are my friends
the bed is a friend
my music is a good friend
shoving me into the light where i am illuminated
but my eyes, theya re clouded
and my brain has been founded
and i will be counted
among the zombies in the sea

the zombies in the seaaaa
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7:33p:
why am i feeling depressed?

MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP.
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Sunday, November 26th, 2006

9:21a:
The Decemberists are rocking my stoned MIND right now.



Each feather, it feel from skin
til threadbare, she grew thin
How were my eyes so blinded?
Each feather it fell from skin

Oh gray sky, oh bitter sting
A raincloud, a crane on wing
All out beyond horizen
Oh gray sky, oh bitter sting

And I will hang my head, hang my head low
And I will hang my head, hang my head low
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Wednesday, November 15th, 2006

12:22a:
seeing you again, my brother
it feels just like old times
as we gaze at the stars, i can’t even fathom how far away they are from us

just with our friends, the black sheet is more than the night sky

it is the entire universe, and those stars are not just tiny candles in the sky

they are immense amounts of energy burning billions of light years away

i can’t even fathom

and we sat there brother
and we watched the milky way pass over the desert sky, and felt the dry air caress our faces

and you took me with you
and i can only thank you for showing me the world.
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Monday, November 13th, 2006

4:10p:
Some thoughts on Atomic Flower:

Atomic Flower EP(IC):

1. Atomic Flower
2. The Peasant Lament
3. Down with the Flower

The Atomic Flower Extended album:

1. Medieval Town of the Future
2. King Zulu
3. Gherl
4. Jousting
5. Peasant Jig
6. Atomic Flower
7. Peasant Lament
8. Down with the Flower
9. Zikers Unite

The Book of Tales (otherwise known as the most stoned album ever):

1. Introduction (Egyptian Dance/Enter Dagoth Ur)
2. Seyda Neen/Hobbit Whore
3. Waltz For Atlantis pt. 1
4. Nessy
5. Crashman (megaman II cover)
6. Chupacabra
7. Outer Space
8. Waltz for Atlantis pt. 2
9. Egyptian Dance (the Mystical Journey)
10. Dagoth Ur

The ROCKET (a space-rock opera):

Act I:

1. Overture
2. Lord Tzee
3. King Zulu's Court
4. Zulu's Plan
5. The Rocket Launches
6. Hypersleep
7. Awakening
8. Song of Questions
9. Traveling Through Reflections
10. The Dark Wizard

Act II:

11. Moon Song
12. Captured
13. The Escape (with the Orb)
14. Gaia's Legend
15. Sanctuary (with the Rocket)
16. The Wizard's Treachury (the Traitor)
17. The Chase
18. Passage to the Forest
19. A Beautiful Place
20. Shards of the Orb
21. Gaia's Greenery


Thats 40 songs. Most of which are actually written, some there are mere ideas. What the fuck? We are insane. The EP is almost done though, and I bet Winter Break could work out fine to record the extended first album. Book of Tales is more of an after though, and me and Brady are writing and recording the Rocket in college.

ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. I'm hoping that with this enormous song bank we can book a shitload of shows over summer and ressurrect the band we had. We might actually gain some attention that way. Man.
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Monday, October 30th, 2006

2:05p:
I found this poem in my file from the end of last year. I think it was written on one of the last days of Winter Break 2005, and I like it because I can recall what I was feeling so perfectly. Especially the first stanza, thats the best one. The other two are more like followups. I was sitting at my computer, my brother was home with his girlfriend and the fireplace was lit.


Wish

I wish it could stay like this forever
sleeping in front of the fire
listening to the rain outside
enjoying the nothing



i wish i could have everything i wanted
and that i could be everything i want

i wish i was free of desire
i want nothing.
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Thursday, October 26th, 2006

5:31p:
Poem 85.

I hate and I love. Why do I do that, you are perhaps asking?
I dont know, but I feel it happening and I am in torment.



-Catullus
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5:17p:
Sometimes music is the only thing in the world that makes any fucking sense.
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